This series on religion gone wrong — and what we can do about it — was inspired by a few conversations with friends and some online discussion I saw over the Summer. Now that it’s over, let’s see where we’ve been.
We started by discussing the difficulty in determining when religion has ‘gone wrong’ and providing some initial thoughts on faith that works. Then we looked at the tricky questions of spiritual abuse and trauma. Trauma led us to questions about embodiment within Christian theology and practice. We then explored the theme of genuine authority versus controlling behaviour, and how accountability plays into that. This included some traits of high-control and abusive relationships.
Switching gears a bit, we discussed Christianity’s balanced understanding of pain and pleasure, and how these are distorted in high-control communities to create a culture of blame and fear. In this, a separate discussion of sex and sexual boundaries was necessary in light of high-control religions’ general obsession with sex.
The final third of the series looked at breaking points and deconstruction of faith that doesn’t work, the complicated grief that often accompanies leaving faith communities, and some principles for rebuilding a healthier faith in healthier communities.
There’s so much that could be said about these complex issues. This series has just scratched the surface. If the concepts we’ve discussed resonate with you at all, you’re not alone. I’d encourage you to read as much as you can by trusted and trustworthy sources, ideally with the help of a qualified professional. While it’s definitely possible to come through this process on your own, there’s no need to, and I wish I had had a more intentional guiding hand while I was going through it.
No matter what your own experiences of faith and faith communities have been, and no matter where you are on your journey, I pray that you feel as safe and a seen in your faith as you are by God. Remember, you are beloved and precious in God’s eyes.
