One of the things I most enjoy about the Scriptures is how in reading and re-reading them, they take on not only their own meaning, but also the weight of how they’ve interacted with our life in previous readings. I was reminded of this when reading today’s Gospel reading, from Mark 10.
This is the story of Jesus healing the blind man Bartimaeus:
They came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples and a large crowd were leaving Jericho, Bartimaeus son of Timaeus, a blind beggar, was sitting by the roadside. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many sternly ordered him to be quiet, but he cried out even more loudly, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus stood still and said, “Call him here.” And they called the blind man, saying to him, “Take heart; get up, he is calling you.” So throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. Then Jesus said to him, “What do you want me to do for you?” The blind man said to him, “My teacher, let me see again.” Jesus said to him, “Go; your faith has made you well.” Immediately he regained his sight and followed him on the way. (Mark 10.46-52)
It’s a simple story, but once upon a time, it stopped me in my tracks. It was during a time of intense personal and spiritual frustration, and I was doing a Gospel contemplation on this passage. So, I imagined standing at the roadside, the dry air, and the taste of the dust kicked up by passers by. I imagined shouting in desperation for Jesus to hear me, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” And then, Jesus asked me that fateful question: “What do you want me to do for you?” And I didn’t know what to say. What did I want Jesus to do for me in that moment? It was one of those moments in Gospel contemplation that I’ve never forgotten.
We live in the world that not only induces but actively promotes a sense of dissatisfaction. As the Buddhists (and Jesus) would remind us, the world is always going to be at least a little unsatisfying, so dissatisfaction is just the general state of being human. But beyond this, there are entire industries designed to make us feel like we don’t have enough (and therefore need to buy a product), or aren’t enough (and therefore need to buy a new service or credential). So it’s no wonder that so many of us feel like everything is just a little off-kilter. But the question in the face of our dissatisfaction is the one Jesus put to Bartimaeus in the Gospel reading today: What do we want? And specifically, when we come to Jesus in faith, what do we want him to do for us? Sure, for Bartimaeus and for us sometimes it’s obvious — he wanted to see, some of us may need first and foremost to find a job that will pay the bills, or to be healed from a disease. But for most of us, most of the time, it’s not quite that simple.
This is not a question anyone can answer for us. There is no ‘right’, one-size-fits-all, answer. And, of course, it’s not the end of the story. Christianity isn’t really about ‘getting things’ from God; in God’s economy, we receive God’s blessings in order to share them abundantly with others. But even so, it’s an important question, and I think it’s a question we’d all do well to think about. When we approach Jesus in faith, what is it, exactly, that we want? What is it that he can do?
And so I’ll leave it here this week, for us all to think and pray about.
Matthew Root 